revolutionary in training

If you haven’t heard of Sarah Jessica Parker’s new clothing line Bitten, then you’re not missing out on much unfortunately. The former star of Sex and the City, Parker is a girl with great fashion sense and a desire to help others have the same. “Fashion is not a luxury, it’s a right,” declares Bitten’s motto, and I wholeheartedly agree. Having been inspired by the collection’s preview on Oprah, I was determined to realize a dream: high-fashion at low-price.

It’s hard to believe but everything in the collection not only comes in a full range of sizes (from 0-22) but more importantly – costs under $20. Yes, you read that correctly, $20. The line clearly has Parker’s both unique and classic sense of style with pieces ranging from fashion staples such as the little black dress and two-button blazer to the more trendy skinny jean and pointed ballet flats. Sounds good right? It’s hard not to get smitten by Bitten, but there’s a catch: it’s exclusively available at Steve & Barry’s, a low-end department store with few locations.

And by few locations I mean that I’ve never even heard of this company before. I can’t quite figure out why someone of Sarah Jessica Parker’s status would hide away her fabulous new fashion foray within the likes of a Wal-Mart-esque operation. While her star power and great designs have already developed quite a following since launching the collection this past June, I doubt it will be enough to make a success if her followers can’t actually get their hands on the clothes to buy them. It’s just basic business sense.

One would imagine, of course, that Internet purchasing would be the technology to save the day. But, no, that is not available either. Despite these obstacles (no stores, no online purchasing) I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get some great clothes at great prices before flying off to London – land of great clothes and high prices – where I am sure to freeze now that I have rid myself of all winter clothes. So, with this dire need to find some long-sleeved shirts and maybe even a sweater or two, I set off on a voyage to get Bitten.

I should have seen the warning signs that fulfilling my shopping dreams was going to be a wee bit more challenging than Harry Potter’s long-awaited defeat of He-who-can’t-be-named. First there were the many, many hours of utterly boring, desert driving to forage through and then there was the wrong turn I must have taken somewhere along the way which put me in the middle of what could only be described as Mexico. I’ve had some good times in Mexico so I wasn’t overly worried but the lack of any modern stores made me wondered if even Miss Parker had any idea where her clothes were.

A 411 call to connect to the Beverly Hills location of Steve & Barry’s made me even less convinced of the veracity of the vision I was following. Apparently the company’s own staff don’t know where they’re located. I was losing heart when all of a sudden I saw the store: a hollowed out Old Navy quarry in a trash parking lot that had been converted seemingly without any money and certainly without a magic wand like Potter’s. After picking my heart up off the ground, I dared entered the building to find a complete and utter lack of magic – and Bitten fashion. A few straggling pants and shirts (all in sizes that I wouldn’t fit in if I were pregnant) was all there was.

Had I missed the battle of the ages: that age-old war between good and evil, affordable fashion and consumer-crazed women? Perhaps. Or was it that all the advertising for Sarah Jessica Parker’s new line was more fantasy than fact? I fear the latter is true. My faith has been tried and there is only one to blame: She-who-can’t-be-named. I guess fashion designed for real women with real bank accounts is still only a dream. Once Bitten, not so smitten.