Emotions: Compass or Confusion? July 11, 2007
Posted by revolutionaryintraining in Compass, Confusion, Emotions, Know Yourself, Looking within.add a comment
In many ways life is a series of endless decisions and there are many ways to go about making these choices. Some are more inclined to a rational decisiveness while others rely on the advice of friends and still others make lists to weigh out all the pros and cons. While there is no one right way to make decisions, we all have an internal compass which can give us valuable direction in life: our emotions. The thing is to get in touch with yourself enough to really understand what your emotions are trying to tell you.
We all know people who let their emotions toss them about like a ship in a storm, as well as those who’ve distanced themselves so much they’re disconnected from life. But life doesn’t have to be like this. You can take charge of your feelings by taking the time to heal your past so that you truly understand the source of your emotions. Knowing why you feel the way you do empowers you to make better decisions.
For many years I avoided the pain in my history by cutting myself off from my emotions; what I didn’t see is that it still influenced my life. This past year I finally realized how strongly my childhood fears influence my thoughts and decisions. Working in an abusive situation I daily found myself feeling anxious and even terrified. What I came to see was that my own fear intensified a bad reality into a living nightmare. Having spent years working through this issue, I knew my fear was rooted more in my past than in my present. With this awareness I no longer felt controlled by my circumstances and was able to make a clear decision to move on to start living my dreams.
Even with your past in check you still need to take the time to look within yourself to get in touch with your emotions. Whether you’re in a point of transition and needing to make some major life decisions, or just wanting to live the best life you can everyday, your emotions are a compass pointing you in the right direction. Too often in the business of life we forget to stop and listen to ourselves when really this is one of the best things we can do to ensure we’re following our dreams and moving towards a fulfilling life.
They say when it comes to choosing a marriage partner, “You know when you know.” While I’ve yet to have this particular experience, I have had this feeling in reference to many other things in life. The truth is, we almost always know what we really want deep inside and we can discover this by quieting ourselves enough to hear the guidance from our inner voice. Take for example your job. Do you feel excited or bored when you think about it? Maybe you’re considering a move or starting a new relationship. Are your feeling more peace and confidence or anxiety? It’s natural when contemplating any decision, especially a big one, to feel nervous and uncertain, but getting down to the root of your emotions and revealing the stronger ones will give you great insight into your heart’s desire.
To me, life is really a journey of desire and I believe that if we know ourselves well enough, we can trust our emotions to guide us on the best path. That doesn’t mean we’re going to avoid pain or never take a misstep, but that if we have the courage to follow our heart we can life a life of meaning, passion, and purpose. So spend some time with your inner compass and see where it leads you on the road of life.
Dream On, Dreamer: Taking Time to Dream June 7, 2007
Posted by revolutionaryintraining in Daydream, Dreams, Looking within.add a comment
Do you find yourself rushing through the day, waiting for work to be over, the dishes to be done, the weekend to arrive? Are you one of the many people stuck in a dead end job, feeling bored, frustrated and passionless? We live in a fast paced world where depression and divorce are on the rise, and dreaming is only for the lucky few. The problem is that dreaming is essential to life, not just when sleeping, but also daydreaming. It helps us get in touch with our passions, our hopes, and when we tap into those dreams, we can start living them instead of waiting for retirement to finally be happy.
Think about the last time you found yourself daydreaming. And I’m not just talking about your cute co-worker but really allowing yourself to venture into the deep recesses of your mind, your heart, your soul. To really live a happy, fulfilling life, you have to connect to your dreams and that means taking the time to move your daydreams into your consciousness. And that, of course, means taking the time to write your dreams down. For many it can be scary to do this because making a physical record of your dreams somehow makes them more real. But this is a good thing! Writing your dreams out can help you identify exactly what you want for your life and how you can start pursuing your dreams. You just have to make the time to dream.
I love spending the first half hour of the morning lying in bed with my eyes closed, dreaming of what I want to happen in my life for the day, the year and beyond. Sometimes it’s silly thoughts like imagining myself in the lead role of the latest romantic comedy, being swept off my feet by some Hollywood heart throb. Other times I go to the deeper regions of my dream job, imagining myself with a talk show of my own where I empower people to live passionate, fulfilling lives. And then there are the times where I contemplate the kind of man I want to marry, the adventures I want to have, the impact I want to make on the world.
When I take the time to dream like this, I often get a revelation or an insight which helps clarify my passions, my goals, my understanding of myself, or an action I can take to make my dreams a reality. The key is to get in touch with your inner voice, and allow yourself to dream up your ideal life, career, family and so on. Don’t hold back because you think your dreams could never come true and don’t get caught up analyzing your thoughts. Just set aside some time with a pen and a journal, and let your dreams flow out of you and onto the paper.
To get things started you can dream about the following:
- People you’d love to meet
- Places you’d love to go
- Jobs you’d love to do
- Adventures you’d love to have
- Things you’d love to accomplish
- Skills you’d love to learn
- Relationships you’d love to develop
Next, make a list of every dream you’ve ever had. Whether it is a childhood dream of singing (as mine was growing up), a youthful wish to be an architect or your recent thoughts of working in photography. Let your mind wander back to the past and the dreams you’ve tucked deep away. Write down anything you can think of that you’d like to have to live a better life.
Now, think about what your absolute best life would look like in the following areas. Remember, don’t analyze, just write down whatever comes to mind.
- My relationship with myself
- My relationship with God/higher power etc.
- My relationships with family and friends
- My love life
- My home
- My career
- My life
- My community
- My world
Finally, focus in on one dream you want to start working on. It can be big or small, but make sure it’s something you’re passionate about because this will help motivate you to stay on the journey when your dream seems out of reach. Once you’ve chosen a dream, make a list of all the things you can do to accomplish it. Breaking your dream down into achievable goals helps keep you on track and moving towards living your best life. So dream on, dreamer… and dream a little dream for your life.
Practical Help for Getting to Know Yourself May 31, 2007
Posted by revolutionaryintraining in Know Yourself, Looking within, Questions to Ask.add a comment
So, you’ve been working on healing your past and listening to your inner voice so you can live a fulfilling, passionate life. It’s a tall order but it’s also the best gift you can give yourself. Still, you’re probably feeling rather overwhelmed by the task at hand and the journey ahead. Facing your past can bring up all kinds of memories and emotions you weren’t even aware you had. It’s hard work to center yourself and work through your thoughts and feelings to get to the root of who you are and who you want to be.
In order to help you break through the confusion and noise of all the voices running through your mind, try working through the following questions and writing your answers down in a journal. Remember that you are a multi-dimensional being so don’t limit your responses to just static answers such as “I am a mother”. Feel free to go wild with your descriptions of yourself, such as my first take at question #1… “I am a crazy, emotional, funny, romantic, expatriate, passionate, fabulous red-headed girl and lover of chocolate.”
- Who am I?
- How as God made me?
- Who am I becoming?
- Who do I want to be?
- What holds me back from living the life I want?
- Who do my parents/siblings/friends want me to be?
- When I was a kid I loved to ______ (play dress up, build with blocks… ).
- I dreamed of being a(n) ______ when I grew up. Am I living this dream now? Why or why not?
- Something I enjoyed doing and did really well when I was a kid/teenager/young adult was…
- What gifts/talents/abilities do I have? Do I enjoy using them?
- What is my greatest fear?
- How would I live my life differently if I weren’t so afraid?
- What is my biggest dream?
- I am/am not following this dream because ______ ?
- People expect me to be ______ ?
- When do I feel most happy?
- When do I feel most frustrated/angry/upset?
- An experience where I felt fulfilled was ______ ?
- I feel most passionate when I ______ ?
- If I were true to myself, I would ______ ?
- Do I see any patterns in my life (thoughts, emotions, choices etc.)?
- What is one thing I could do today to be happier?
- What is one thing I could change in my life to be happier?
These questions should give you plenty to think about. While you should give yourself some time to contemplate your answers, it’s often your initial response to a question which reveals your true feelings. I encourage you to be as honest with yourself as possible as you venture into the unknown parts of yourself. I’ve spent many years going over these questions and many others, and I know how scary it can be to see your true self after years of keeping it hidden away. But facing yourself with honesty, humility and compassion will reveal important themes about who you are, who you want to be and what is holding you back from achieving your dreams. Once you start identifying these themes you will have greater clarity and, in time, greater ability to start living the fulfilling, passionate life you were created to have.
Looking Within: The Key to Discovering Your Personal Passion May 28, 2007
Posted by revolutionaryintraining in Calling, Looking within, Passion.add a comment
“Who am I?” “What should I do with my life?” These are questions we all ask ourselves and for many of us there’s no easy answer. There’s certainly no clear answer if we don’t know ourselves. The fact is that we can’t know what we’re called to do if we don’t know ourselves. The good news is that your calling is something you’re passionate about, and it’s not as hard to find as you might think. A simple way to think of it is that:
Your calling is the place where the world’s greatest need meets your deepest passion.
All you have to do is find out what you love doing and then connect that to a service you would enjoy providing. It really doesn’t have to be a complicated process to unveil your calling and passion, but it does require a serious investment in oneself. The key is to listen to your inner voice. This is a skill which takes time to develop and necessitates a lot of patience. It means taking time alone, making yourself still, and taking control of all the wild thoughts that pass through your mind as you train yourself to hear that inner voice.
In today’s world we’re so used to the endless distractions of our culture that we often feel more comfortable having the noise of a radio, TV or iPod in the background, rather than face the obnoxiously loud silence of quiet. But it’s time to turn off the noise and practice listening to ourselves. And yes, it does take practice. It’s really a discipline which must be formed, but the wonderful thing is that everyone can do it. It just requires you showing up and making the effort.
I spent a solid two months earlier this year entirely devoted to digging deep down within myself to really understand who I am, what I want out of my life, what I love doing and what I don’t. It was a difficult battle between me and the endless entertainment opportunities Tivo offered, and to be honest, many a time Tivo won. But I also spent a lot of time reading books to learn about discovering your passion, writing in a journal, meditating, and yes, watching Oprah. It was hard work focusing internally with such intensity but it paid off. Honing in on my inner voice, I was able to clarify my calling with a defined mission statement and start pursuing my passion.
One of the best ways to develop your ability to tune into your inner voice is to make it a daily priority. Find a time of the day or night that works best for you and schedule yourself for some you time. For the first week take just 5 minutes a day to reflect. The second week try 10 minutes and keep building as you go along. It’s important that you find a consistent place where you can be alone and where you feel comfortable, so make sure to remove any distractions like the phone or a loud ticking clock (my personal nemesis).
I find it’s most beneficial for me to take time first thing in the morning to listen to my inner voice. It centers me and helps me to keep focus and positive for the day ahead. If that works for you, then do it. If another time is better for you, then I say go for it. Just making a habit of taking the time to look within is what counts, not how or when. Because this time is all about you and learning about yourself, so do what works for you. Though I would highly recommend writing down your thoughts from your personal time, even if you’re not a journal writer by nature. It helps you to remember the insights you’ve gained as time goes on and also serves as an illustration of your growth.
Your inner voice is important; in fact it’s your greatest resource to living a happy and fulfilled life. It’s always available, always willing to be heard, always waiting to give you wonderful insights about yourself. The more you tap into it, the more you will learn about yourself and your passions. So take the time to listen to your inner voice and I guarantee your investment will pay you great dividends now and in the future as you pursue your personal passion and live your best life.
