They say life is like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get. When I left my home in San Francisco to move to London this past September with nothing but a MacBook and a few clothes (well, perhaps more than just a few), I certainly had no idea what was in store for me. I only knew that I had to follow my dreams and see what new adventures this would lead me to. A few months later with a new home, friends, church community at HTB, and a job at international development agency, Tearfund, I opened that box of chocolates again and this time it was a Turkish delight.

Spending a few weeks in Istanbul over the New Year I was welcomed with open arms by my dear friend, Zeynep, and her two daughters, Asya and Taya. Almost four years had passed since I’d spent the summer with them, though we quickly re-established our little harem and the girls set about dolling me up in their finery and decorating me with jewels dripping from my ears as night after night I was wined and dined by Turkish princes. (They may not have been actual princes but I certainly felt like a princess!) In true Turkish style, their hospitality could not be outdone and my days were filled with motorcycle rides through the ancient streets of Istanbul, exploring the nearby mountain ranges and villages with new friends, and of course, cruises on the Bosporus river with wine in hand and enchanted music drifting through the night as twinkling stars set the sky ablaze. Turkey is truly a magical place but the real delight for me is the treasured relationships I have there: times spent with Asya posing endlessly for photos like we were international models instead of two giddy girls sitting at a Starbucks; laughing at Taya’s impersonations of Hannah Montana and all things Disney; and sharing heart to hearts with Zeynep and learning to drink wine without falling over (for the most part).

Leaving a big piece of my heart in Turkey, I headed back to London and over the next few months continued to enjoy a life filled with deep friendships, strong community, and the occasional jaunt to the English countryside. And, because I’ve always had an obsession with chocolate and just can’t keep my hand out of the cookie jar, I also ventured to Berlin where I had my passport stolen and the British Embassy threaten to deport me to Canada. After drawing up some top secret plans to sneak into Turkey sans documentation, I was allowed to go home to London where the madness was really about to begin. I was soon wooed by an English man who ticked all the boxes on my “husband wish list” (minus the critical element: ‘wears good shoes’) and despite recent memories of a broken heart, decided to take courage and let myself fall in love again. All was well in the world: a weekend trip to Paris saw me reunited with my dear Canadian friends, Tam and Cali, and a most hilarious adventure ensued as we hopelessly lost a shoe in the Louvre fountain, only to have it pop back up to the surface 10 minutes later after we’d made up a song about our bare footed loss.

… and then my contract at Tearfund expired and I reluctantly joined the ranks of the unemployed. For those of you tempted to think that equates to a life of leisure, let me introduce you to the HR situation in England where it can take days to fill out job applications, a month to shortlist people for interviews, and another couple of months to actually hire and commence employment. My life now consisted of hours upon hours of scouring the web for jobs and writing essays for applications. I networked, volunteered, met with HR personnel, and tried to stay focused on why I came to London in the first place – to find a job that would fulfill my passions. The days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and eventually I was turned down for a dream job I was perfectly qualified for because they hired someone with “more UK experience”… which could be just about any of the 60 million people in England, though I hear the Queen is otherwise employed.

Along the emotionally turbulent journey of unemployment and dream chasing, the oh-so-perfect-husband-to-be candidate decided to break my heart. As he sat there on my couch one April day taking back his promises to love me forever without any warning or explanation, I thought to myself, “Jesus wouldn’t do this.” In fact I told the boy this same thing and amidst my tears and grief briefly considered a new marketing opportunity for “WWJND – What Would Jesus Not Do” bracelets. While it is true that Jesus would never love me and leave me, I realised he also pretty much guarantees that life is going to involve heartache and sacrifice, most especially for those who take up their cross and follow him. I guess I forgot about that part of the gospel when I sold everything I owned, and left behind family and friends to follow what I believe is my God-given purpose, but I’m well acquainted with it now.

After three months of hard work, I’m still unemployed, newly homeless, and back to eating cereal three times a day. I really believed that God was going to reward my faith and my efforts to pursue my calling by giving me a good job, but the Great Procrastinator seems to have other priorities. Instead of providing a job and some financial security, God has seen fit to give me the most amazing friends and community. A friend of a friend of a friend, put me up for months before I got my first job in London, girls from work came and slept over every night the week after my heart was broken to make sure I wasn’t alone, a room full of mates recently helped me celebrate my 29th in high style, and my church has supported me with prayer, places to sleep now that I’m homeless, and plenty of volunteer work to keep me from going out of my mind with boredom. Okay, so maybe God actually does know what he’s doing.

It turns out that I’m the one who doesn’t know what she’s doing, or rather where she’s going. I’ve got lots of ideas about what I want to do with my life and most recently I’m convinced that involves working with the church to inspire its involvement in the fight against global poverty. But I’m just beginning to grasp this vision and I can’t say how I’m going to get there, or when the doors will open to make this dream a reality. So faced with my own version of poverty and unclear as to what the next step is on my journey, I’ve decided to open that box of chocolates again. As I just can’t seem to get enough of that Turkish delight, I’m heading back to spend the summer with Zeynep and the girls. I figure a few months of rest in the endless sunshine and turquoise sea on the coast of Turkey should help me discern God’s direction for what to do next. And if not, at least I’ll have a great tan and another exciting adventure to tell the grandkids one day.

The verdict is in: global warming is real, climate change is happening, and we have only one chance to deal with this issue before its impact becomes irreversible. While terms like ‘global warming’ and ‘climate change’ might seem like just the political agenda of the day, the reality is that a significant amount of the problem stems from human-induced climate change. As the major contributors of greenhouse gas emissions it’s up to us to make the choice to fight global warming.

Scientific consensus has determined that we must keep the global average temperature from rising another 2°C or the consequences we face may exceed our ability to manage them. We will see massive water shortages, crop failure, millions at risk of hunger, and up to 60 million people in Africa exposed to malaria.

Currently, those suffering the most from climate change are the millions already struggling from poverty and the least equipped to adapt to the dangerous changes in water supply, agricultural production, natural disasters, diseases and other health issues caused by global warming.

Urgent action is needed to stop the growing trend of climate change and its already disastrous effects before we reach a level beyond our control. We have just one chance to stop the global temperature increase before it rises above 2°C and we have just one choice: take action now.

Tearfund’s climate change campaigns focus on the relationship between poverty and the environment by promoting lifestyle choices which reduce the impact of global warming. We also lobby the government to commit to reducing our emissions and getting more involved in assisting poor countries to adapt to the impact of climate change.

Through prayer, lifestyle changes, and campaigning efforts, Tearfund actively seeks to fight global warming and eliminate poverty. Check us out at www.tearfund.org/campaigning for more information and to sign up to Global Action quarterly magazine so you can stay up to date on our latest campaigns and how you can be involved. We’ve got one chance and one choice: together we can make the difference.

People keep telling me how courageous I am for leaving behind everything and moving to London to follow my dreams. I’m thinking perhaps everyone’s mistaken courage for headstrong foolishness (a bi-product of having red hair, I think). Here I am, 28 years old with no home, job, car, or belongings of any kind except clothes and a MacBook (the two essentials). Just a head full of dreams, a heart bursting with passion, and apparently a bunch of courage which feels suspiciously more like fear.

More Important Than Fear

I moved to London thinking I would land a job and a flat within a week or two. I figured that with a master’s degree, great work experience and of course my fabulous personality, everything would come together. What I didn’t realize is that things work very differently in England than I expected. Job applications take hours, even days to fill out. Even if you do get an interview and win the job, it can take months before you actually start work. And housing, which we all know is atrociously expensive here, is very difficult to secure when you don’t have a job or any UK credit history.

With so many setbacks it’s easy to find myself wondering if I’ve made a terrible mistake in jumping the pond in pursuit of my calling. Is this just some crazy hair-brained adventure I cooked up to avoid boredom? Or is this a genuine act of courage to live my life to its fullest capacity? It’s hard to think of it as courage when I so often find myself worrying that I won’t get a job or a home to call my own. What I’m learning in this waiting period is that just because I feel afraid sometimes, it doesn’t mean I lack courage.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. — Ambrose Redmoon

In fact, I’m beginning to see that courage and fear are intertwined. If you’re setting out to do something truly courageous, a healthy dose of fear is part of the journey because you’re exploring new horizons and testing your limits. It’s only natural to feel afraid when you set out in a new direction and it’s courage that decides the adventure is more important than the fear. The key, I think, is to embrace the good parts of fear and allow it to transform yourself into a better person as you step out in faith into the unknown.

So I guess it was courageous of me to sell everything I own, leave behind everyone I know, and attempt to start all over again in London. Because the truth is that I knew it wasn’t right for me to stay in San Francisco any longer and I knew I had to find a place where my work aligned with my calling. Sometimes the courageous thing to do is to let go of what you know is wrong and run in the opposite direction, even if you don’t know where you’re going. It’s what makes you a person of honour, just as I was reminded on Grey’s Anatomy last week.

“Women and men of honour know when not to accept less than they deserve and they know when to walk away.” Even when it’s scary.

I moved to London almost one month ago now and so far it’s been almost nothing that I expected. For one thing, there’s essentially no free wifi anywhere (which is why I haven’t been able to update this little blog of mine), but more importantly, nobody wears high heels… ever! Okay, a few people but do but we suffer greatly for it as the sidewalks of this ancient city are quite uneven and rather treacherous for anything but flats. How did I miss this the other times I’ve visited England, you ask? All I can say is that you see things differently when you’re living in a place instead of just visiting it.

Needless to say, I’ve had to make some adjustments to acculturize myself to London life. I gave up my sunny San Francisco wardrobe and now wear layers and warm jackets all the time. I bought a low pair of heels, refusing to give in to flats but only because I didn’t want to hem all my pants (or trousers as they call them here… pants means underwear!). I’m learning new vocabulary like trousers and cuppa (tea) and rubbish (garbage) and really important words like chav (someone who dresses like they’re from the Bronx of NY). I’m also learning that the job application and hiring process takes much longer here and that somehow people survive only getting paid once a month, a concept as foreign to me as not having free wifi.

Speaking of which, there’s really no way to get a job without the Internet so one day after walking up and down a London High Street (main street) for over 2 hours in heels, desperately in search of free wifi, I finally succumbed to purchasing it. I first checked out English cafés like Costa Coffee and Caffè Nero but eventually it was Starbucks that saved the day with their T-Mobile wifi service. It makes me feel incredibly American, despite being Canadian, but Starbucks has become my new home and just about any day of the week you can find me sitting at one of their many cafés working madly away on job applications on my beloved MacBook. 

So while I haven’t found a flat (apartment) or a job yet, I have learned a lot on this crazy adventure of mine. When some kid driving by throws an egg at your head and none of it gets on your fabulous new coat, count your blessings. When you notice a cute guy on the tube who’s fly is down, you don’t have to use proper words like, “Your zipper requires attention”, to make him understand you. And, most importantly, know the location of all wifi hot spots in the city and if all else fails, there’s always Starbucks.

Do you ever find yourself with too much time on your hands and nothing to do? I’m not talking about having a weekend free to laze about in bed until noon; I’m talking about days and days of nothing. Perhaps you’re not working for a bit, are in between jobs, or on a 6-week vacation that’s now seeming a bit overkill. It’s a dangerous place to be, even if you like a hefty amount of alone time. Without any purpose to your day it’s easy to get sucked into depression, aimlessly floating from the couch to the fridge, back to the couch and yes, back to the fridge again (unless you’re an ice cream monger like me and then it would be the freezer). What to do? Make a plan to keep yourself going so you avoid those boredom blues.

What do I know about boredom? A lot, actually. I know I’ve travelled all over the world and lived in a few rather exciting cities, but boredom and I are old friends. I never got into the party scene so there was many a night in high school where it was just me and 90210 reruns. If I’d had Tivo back then I might never have seen the light of day. Thankfully, in college I started coming out of my shell a bit, finding ways to have fun with friends doing things like swing dancing, watching movies and so on. What a difference it made to have activities planned instead of sitting at home on the couch. And all I had to do was call up a friend and makes some plans.

These past few months I’ve once again had a lot of alone time while in transition between leaving work, moving, and preparing to live in London. I don’t mind having lots of different things going on, but for an extravert like me it’s particularly hard to have all this time waiting for the next part of my journey to begin. Rather than sit at home moping about it all, I’ve decided to use my newfound positive perspective to choose to see the bright side of things. Being that I’m back in my hometown of Vancouver, BC I have many old friends and family here so I’ve made an effort to have at least one visit per day. And so far it’s working at keeping my boredom blues away. If you’re finding you have just too much time on your hands and it’s driving you a bit bonkers, might I suggest planning one activity per day which pushes you to get up off that couch and out of those pajamas into the great wide world out there. After all, just one a day keeps depression away.

I must confess that I love to listen to music on airplanes. Most especially when you’re not allowed to: during take-off and landing. You can chalk it up to my red hair and subsequential stubbornness, or just my love of sentimentalism. (It’s probably both). Really, if I could, all of life would be a musical and every event of every day would have its appropriate song or instrumental to augment the moment. As my life is not a Drew Cary intro, I keep my iPod close at hand for those moments that simply demand a refrain. So apologies I bid you dear flight attendants, but I must have my moment and I must have my song. 

Sometimes the choice is hard to make. Which song to perfectly sweeten my views of the twinkling lights below? But tonight as I fly out over my city by the Bay, there is no choice but one song and one man. It’s hard to leave my beloved San Francisco but just as Tony Bennett serenades, one day I will return and your golden sun will shine for me.

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

The loveliness of Paris seems somehow sadly gay,
The glory that was Rome is just another day,
I’ve been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan,
I’m going home to my city by the bay.

I left my heart in San Francisco, high on a hill it calls to me
To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars.
The morning fog may chill the air, I don’t care.
My love waits there in San Francisco, above the blue and windy sea,
When I come home to you, San Francisco, your golden sun will shine for me.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Easier said than done at times and while my recent plight certainly doesn’t fall in the realm of things to lose sleep over, it’s still been a frustrating week. While preparing for my move to London, I soon realized that I need a wardrobe makeover so I don’t freeze in skirts and flip flops. I also realized that the ladies needed some new support so I set off on a bra hunt that was going to take a lot more trying than succeeding.

Growing up in Vancouver, Canada I’d have to say that the shopping leaves more than just a little to be desired. Many of my friends would make the cross-border trek to Victoria’s Secret for their lingerie needs so I just assumed that living in the multi-cultural and fashion savvy city of San Francisco, I wouldn’t have a problem find a bra for the ladies. I was wrong. Very, very wrong. To make matters worse, I had to admit that my unique physical qualities extended beyond my red hair and daddy long legs to the ladies of Long Beach.

I say Long Beach because the newly dubbed 32DD’s make me wonder where all those skinny women with fake breasts do their bra shopping. After spending hours and hours scouring Victoria’s Secret (special sizes need not apply), Macys, Neiman Marcus, and Nordstroms, I had almost decided that Yentil had it right when she wrapped her breasts in cloth to look like a boy, when finally I found a bra. One brassiere, over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, feminine support or whatever else you want to call it later, my search had ended. I think next time I want some support I’ll just call a friend.

These days stress seems to be a part of everyday life and it’s a constant challenge to not let it rule your life or to make you crazy. The problem with stress is that it builds up over time, invading your mind and body with the stealth and success of a super-secret spy: you can’t see it but you definitely feel it’s effect. So how do you stay sane in a stressed out world where work problems and credit card bills loom around every corner? Here’s some tips to keep cool, calm, and collected.

Gotta Get Away

Sometimes you just need to get away from it all. Most of us can’t afford to hop on a plane and head off to a sunny vacation destination whenever we need to de-stress, so it’s particularly important to make time throughout the week to take a break and relax. Grab a good book or your favorite movie and escape into another life. My getaway is a walk on the beach with a cup of fine espresso. Whether you can manage a break once a week or once a day, I guarantee it’s worth making the time for yourself. You’ll feel rejuvenated and ready to get back to reality.

Learn to Deal

While you can’t avoid stress, you can learn to deal with it better. A lot of stress comes from interacting with other people so learning to cope with different personalities can make a big difference. If you typically let others run all over you, stand up for yourself. Or maybe you’re more like me and need a dose of humility; instead of running your mouth, stop and listen to your co-worker, friend, or spouse. Whatever your deal is, developing new people skills which enable you to have both healthy boundaries and positive relationships will lower your stress levels and make you a happier person all around.

Make Love, Not War

We’ve all heard that making love is good for you, but that’s not what I’m referring to here. When you’re feeling stressed out it’s all too easy to get frustrated and angry at people, especially the one’s you’re closest to. Instead of taking your stress out on your loved ones, or even absorbing their stress, make the choice to leave work problems at work and make the effort to create a positive, affirming atmosphere wherever you are. As the saying goes, make love, not war.

Be Active

Speaking of getting exercise, a critical component to reducing stress – and its impact on your body – is to keep an active life. You may not know it but stress is responsible for a lot of common ailments like headaches and stomach problems and even serious illnesses like Crohn’s Disease. So why wait for stress to eat away your livelihood? Getting regular exercise relieves a lot of these health problems and it can actually be enjoyable. Plus, you’ll sleep better, have more energy, and might even be ready to tackle that pile of dishes you’ve been avoiding all week.

Get Grateful

There are times in life when there’s not much you can do to make a stressful situation better. But there’s always something you can do to make yourself less stressed. Rather than focusing on all the negative things going on in your life, make the choice to concentrate on the good things. Sure, there’s a time to vent but that can easily become detrimental if you can’t move on to something more optimistic. By making a habit of directing your thoughts to things you’re grateful for, you’ll develop an attitude of gratitude, which will not only keep you sane but also the people who have to be around you every day.

There may not always be a lot you can do about the stressors in your life but if you follow these tips you’ll find you can stay sane despite it all… and you might even find a bit of happiness as well.

“There’s just not enough time in the day to go to work and then pursue my passion on the side.” Does this sound familiar to you? Perhaps these words have even been uttered from your own lips. Well, if that’s the case then you’re definitely not alone. Trying to find time to make your dreams come true while you’re doing the 9 to 5 grind is challenging to say the least. But it is possible and some friends of mine are proving it with their independent sitcom Break a Leg.

Written by brothers Yuri and Vlad Baranovsky and produced, filmed, edited, and acted (and everything else it takes to make a TV show) by a gaggle of friends and fellow artists, these guys and gals have made a serious commitment to making their TV show dreams a reality. And their hard work is starting to pay off. Break a Leg is rapidly gaining popularity from its comic online episodes following the many misadventures of writer David Penn as he tries to make a success of his new sitcom deal.

Before you get all excited by this group’s inspiring accomplishments and run off to get started on your own dreams, let me remind you that Break a Leg didn’t get a following overnight and it’s taken a lot of work to make it happen. We’re talking about 12-hour days of shooting on weekends, late, late nights of editing, and endless details to be thought over, finessed, and worked through. And all this after coming home from a full day’s work.

But I guarantee you it’s worth the effort and my friends wouldn’t give it up because they’re making they’re dreams happen. After a year of developing their show, they have committed fans, great reviews by the media, and have even been picked up by a marketing company. Things are happening, but only because some ordinary people got together to do the ordinary, everyday work needed to pursue their passion.

But hard work isn’t enough in itself. Unless you happen to be one of the lucky few whose passionate about their job, chances are a day’s work feels like a lot of, well, work. The difference is that working at something your passionate about enlivens you, fills you with energy and motivates you to keep at it. That doesn’t mean it never gets frustrating or tiring to pursue your passion, but that even if it’s labor intensive, overall you’ll feel excited and fulfilled as you make your dreams come true. You might even be willing to break a leg to do so.

If you haven’t heard of Sarah Jessica Parker’s new clothing line Bitten, then you’re not missing out on much unfortunately. The former star of Sex and the City, Parker is a girl with great fashion sense and a desire to help others have the same. “Fashion is not a luxury, it’s a right,” declares Bitten’s motto, and I wholeheartedly agree. Having been inspired by the collection’s preview on Oprah, I was determined to realize a dream: high-fashion at low-price.

It’s hard to believe but everything in the collection not only comes in a full range of sizes (from 0-22) but more importantly – costs under $20. Yes, you read that correctly, $20. The line clearly has Parker’s both unique and classic sense of style with pieces ranging from fashion staples such as the little black dress and two-button blazer to the more trendy skinny jean and pointed ballet flats. Sounds good right? It’s hard not to get smitten by Bitten, but there’s a catch: it’s exclusively available at Steve & Barry’s, a low-end department store with few locations.

And by few locations I mean that I’ve never even heard of this company before. I can’t quite figure out why someone of Sarah Jessica Parker’s status would hide away her fabulous new fashion foray within the likes of a Wal-Mart-esque operation. While her star power and great designs have already developed quite a following since launching the collection this past June, I doubt it will be enough to make a success if her followers can’t actually get their hands on the clothes to buy them. It’s just basic business sense.

One would imagine, of course, that Internet purchasing would be the technology to save the day. But, no, that is not available either. Despite these obstacles (no stores, no online purchasing) I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get some great clothes at great prices before flying off to London – land of great clothes and high prices – where I am sure to freeze now that I have rid myself of all winter clothes. So, with this dire need to find some long-sleeved shirts and maybe even a sweater or two, I set off on a voyage to get Bitten.

I should have seen the warning signs that fulfilling my shopping dreams was going to be a wee bit more challenging than Harry Potter’s long-awaited defeat of He-who-can’t-be-named. First there were the many, many hours of utterly boring, desert driving to forage through and then there was the wrong turn I must have taken somewhere along the way which put me in the middle of what could only be described as Mexico. I’ve had some good times in Mexico so I wasn’t overly worried but the lack of any modern stores made me wondered if even Miss Parker had any idea where her clothes were.

A 411 call to connect to the Beverly Hills location of Steve & Barry’s made me even less convinced of the veracity of the vision I was following. Apparently the company’s own staff don’t know where they’re located. I was losing heart when all of a sudden I saw the store: a hollowed out Old Navy quarry in a trash parking lot that had been converted seemingly without any money and certainly without a magic wand like Potter’s. After picking my heart up off the ground, I dared entered the building to find a complete and utter lack of magic – and Bitten fashion. A few straggling pants and shirts (all in sizes that I wouldn’t fit in if I were pregnant) was all there was.

Had I missed the battle of the ages: that age-old war between good and evil, affordable fashion and consumer-crazed women? Perhaps. Or was it that all the advertising for Sarah Jessica Parker’s new line was more fantasy than fact? I fear the latter is true. My faith has been tried and there is only one to blame: She-who-can’t-be-named. I guess fashion designed for real women with real bank accounts is still only a dream. Once Bitten, not so smitten.